How can you look the dog in the eyes ever again? Every time you call his name, he wallows in shame. You’ve banished him to the lowest level of dog name hell – you’ve named your Lab “Blackey.”
Any four-year-old can explain that a dog’s name should reflect something about him – the way he looks, the way he acts, what he likes to eat… something. So most four-year-olds will take the next most obvious step – naming a black dog Blackey… or Smokey… or something equally inane.
The thought that so many grown adults were not able to muster more creativity could undermine our society’s basic faith in democracy. So let’s hope that the over-abundance of such uninspiring monikers is the work of children – parents’ having left the honor of naming the family pet to junior or sissy. While common, this type of delegation is rarely a good idea. Remember: Dogs can last half a generation; your little tyke will be mighty embarrassed in college to own up to a dog named Blackey.
So to help inspire you – or your little one – here are some more unique names – and naming ideas – that might help you side-step the pit of pet name remorse:
1. Dirty Stuff: Grunge, Pitch, Soot (or Sooty), Spade
2. Darkness: Dusky, Midnight, Shade (or Shady), Twilight
3. Black / Dark Clothing: Patch, Sable, Suede, Tux (or Tuxedo), Velvet
4. Black Food: Gumbo, Goulash, Meatball, Meatloaf, Molasses, Mushroom, Plum, Rib-eye, Roux (Avoid Pepper)
5. Coffee Derivatives: Chicory, Latte, Mocha
6. Dark Beers: Guinness, Porter, Stout, Xingu
7. Small Black Dogs: (Also cute for very large dogs.) Scrap, Smudge, Smidgeon, Speck, Splotch, Wisp
8. Black as Evil: (These can be particularly cute for very large or very small dogs.) Cujo, Darth, Jezebel, Katrina, Lilith, Mordor, Reaper, Smut, Snitch, Sorrow, Vader, Vice, Wicked
9. Traditional or Famous Black First Names: (Most appropriate for African-American families.) Tanika, Aisha, Oprah, Bionce, Latifa, Snoop
10. African Geography: Congo, Morocco, Rwanda, Uganda