Reasons to Quit Smoking Funny

“Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.”– Archimedes

Do you have a “long enough lever” in your life to quit smoking? With long list of reasons, you can do anything – even quit smoking.

(Ordered chronologically and by importance)
1. Wasting money on killing yourself
2. Smelling like an ashtray
3. Your bland taste buds
4. The embarrassing smoking smell of your
5. Even coffee tastes worst
6. Wondering if someone is going to get sick from riding in your “smoker’s” car
7. Your home won’t stink
8. The whizzing when you breathe
9. You alright get enough lung population by living in the city
10. You won’t have to move to the country to breath clean air
11. Poor circulation
12. Low energy
13. Feeling gorse
14. No amount of gum covers your ashtray breath
15. Yellow teeth
16. Yellow Stained fingers
17. Living an extra 7 years
18. Accomplishing what only 3.5% of smokers do a year*: quitting for a year or longer (According to the Surgeon General’s Report, 1990)
19. Grayish dull complexion caused by smoking
20. Preventing premature aging without surgery or fancy creams
21. Scaly skin caused by smoking
22. Having to look for a cigarette
23. Having to ask for a light
24. Those millions of thoughts about smoking
25. Wasting time planning your smoke breaks
Reasons to Quit Smoking
26. Experiencing panic-attacks when you’re not able to have a cigarette
27. Freezing outside in bad weather
28. Having money to go back to school, work less hours, or go a vacation
29. Extra money to purchase gift’s for loved ones
30. Hanging out with the mostly unhealthy and pessimistic “smokers” crowd
31. No energy to exercise
32. Three words “sex, impotence, loser”
33. Not being able to a flight climb stairs without losing your breathe
34. The “a smoker” unhealthy life style
35. Low self-confidence of being a smoker
36. People looking down on you for being a ‘smoker’
37. Being turned down for life insurance
38. Potential employer not hiring you because you’re a smoker
39. Not being able to find an apartment because no one wants to rent to smokers
40. concentration
41. All the interruptions in your life
42. Less running around
43. The negative drain of being addicted to something
44. Non-smoker hate kissing smokers, and most likely will NOT
45. The thought of harming your unborn baby
46. Second-hand smoke kills family members too
47. 75% of children who smoke because their parents do
48. Teens that smoke are seven times more likely do elicit drugs
49. Trips to the convenience store in the middle of the night
50. Waking-up in the middle of the night just to have a smoke
Reasons to Quit Smoking
51. Craving a cigarette and being irritated if you don’t get one
52. Less time to spend with your family
53. Less time inhaling toxic poisons
54. Less time inhaling other smokers second hand smoke
55. Never having to sit in another smoke filled room
56. Feeling and looking younger
57. The smell smoke in your hair
58. The smell smoke in your clothes
59. A toxic and cancer filled body
60. Aching joints
61. Muscle pains
62. That constant nagging cough
63. Getting a “colds” all the time
64. A weak immune system
65. Only being able to date less-than-perfect smokers
66. Burning holes your clothes
67. Worrying about burning down your home
68. Worrying about burning down some one else’s property or home
69. Encouraging your children to play with fire
70. Having money to go on “date night” to dinner and the movies
71. Time to start a new hobby
72. Time to start an exercise program
73. Time to clean your body out
74. Finally throwing clothes with burn holes in them
75. Smoking causes infertility
Reasons to Quit Smoking
76. Your baby will thank you
77. Your breast milk will be safe to drink
78. All of your family members will be proud of you
79. All of your friends will be proud of you
80. All of your co-workers will be proud of you
81. Having lunch money every day now
82. You won’t ever be called ‘a smoker’ again
83. Having to bum cigarettes from others
84. Worry about going for a long time without a smoke like in a movie or on a plane
85. Sleepless nights
86. The sad fact your first thought in your day is about “smoking”
87. You’ll instantly be sexier and more attractive to people even non-smokers
88. No more excuses about not quitting
89. Literally not being able to smell the roses
90. Other people thinking you’re dim-witted
91. Losing creditability as an professional or expert because of your dumb habit
92. Your mom never asking you to quit again
93. Having the title of “ex-smoker”
94. Quitting before you get cancer or die
95. Proving all those people wrong who said “you’ll never quit”
96. Dying a peaceful death
97. Giving the athletic performance advantage to the non-smokers
98. Burning holes in your carpets
99. Cleaning ashtrays
100. Cleaning up spill tobacco in your purse or desk
101. Hiding the fact you still haven’t quit yet

Right now, please write out your top 10, print it them off, or email them to a friend. I hope you found a long list of reasons to quit smoking now, long enough to easily quit smoking today.

1US Surgeon General’s Report, 1990, p. vi
2According to the American Cancer Society, the average economic costs of smoking are estimated to be approximately $3,391 per smoker per year
*** According for the average inflation cost of Cigarettes
**** U.S. Fire Administration. A Profile of Fire in the United States, 1989-1998. 2000. Available online at:
5Smoking 25 cigarettes (one pack) a day for an average 4 minutes (smoking and traveling to the designated smoking spot) equals 608 hours and 20 minutes of conscious time per year.